The Unfatblog

44 responses so far ↓

• 

  Bee // April 14, 2008 at 12:59 pm

  Real women can be fat, skinny and everything in between, my friend. I really don’t think anyone is trying to dispute that.

  As for skinny husbands, different strokes for different folks, is all I’m saying. Just like some fellas like their ladies fat, some ladies like their fellas fat. It’s a crazy, crazy world, isn’t it? ;o)

• 

  Lindsay // April 14, 2008 at 2:39 pm

  The only thing you need to be a “real woman”? Is female genitalia. This viewpoint is shared by the majority of the FA community.

  In my personal experience, the people who feel that “real women have curves” is a valid statement are people who are either new to FA or people who are just stubborn/ignorant.

  Also: i’m not sure where you’re getting the idea that people in the FA community want to think we’re more special than other folks. Fact of the matter is, we want people to recognize that we’re not different or special - we’d like to be treated as normal people… not dehumanized or demonized.

  As far as attraction goes? It’s entirely subjective. I’ve dated skinny men, i’ve dated fat men, and i’ve dated men in between.

• 

  Kathryn Cleve // April 14, 2008 at 2:43 pm

  Having been both, I must admit I prefer being a less fat woman than I used to be. I will never be skinny but the smaller I get the healthier I feel.
  Kathryn

• 

  LosingTheFat // April 14, 2008 at 3:52 pm

  I’m no more or less a ‘real’ woman than I was when I was at my healthy body weight. With the excess 40 lbs I have on my body, I feel less like a ‘real’ woman because I don’t feel healthy.

  As for attraction…I don’t want to date a fat guy and I realize that if I want to date in-shape men, I’d better damn well be in great shape too.

  Yes, some fit men like fat women and some fit women like fat men. I think the problem comes when a fat person feels that a fit person should be attracted to them regardless of their weight. You can’t tell a person what to be attracted to.

• 

  Patty // April 14, 2008 at 10:34 pm

  A real woman is one who is confident enough to accept her own form of beauty. all too long, we full figured women have allowed others to define what beauty is and isn’t. and then we learned that alot of the so called beauty that was held up before us as the gold standard wasn’t so real after all. learning the truth about digitally enhanced photography,spray on tans, injected lips,hair extensions, and the most hideous of all,the fake breast. alot of the lessons of learning what a real woman is comes with maturity. I wouldn’t trade my round bottom for a flat one for all of the money in the world. my beautiful full legs for toothpicks. and there just isn’t any way that I would trade the way my breast brings out the beauty of a blouse for the unmistakable look of a boy. but then there’s the way I feel about myself when I walk into a room and I know that I’ve done all that I can to pull my look together. Hair and nails on the money (my boyfriend would say that that’s what makes me a real woman) my hair and nails are real. having on an outfit that is clean and pressed and that fits in all of the right palces. and hugs my curves or (rolls) perfectly. full figured women are not the only one’s with rolls. I see alot of skinny ladies walking around exposing imperfect body parts. rolls, untanned legs,and unkept feet and their nasty looking thongs peeking out of faded and ripped jeans. you see a womans size does not make her a real or fake person, it’s the way she carries herself. when I look at the picture of Chloe, I see a beautiful young lady in a bathing suit that is not very flattering for her figure. however if she had on the same suit in the right size or different color to flatter her pale skin, and had she been posed by a professional it would of made all of the difference in the world.those kind of tricks are what the thinner ladies have been doing for years. not to mention what she would look like with some spray on tan, a pedicure and a fierce pair of stilettoes. what thin people need to realize is that beauty is subjective. there is someone out there who admires every standard of woman. thin people have been led to think that all full figured women want to be thin. not true. I don’t know a woman out there who doesn’t want to change something about their looks. however I am proud of my full body. it’s who I am. when I look at my belly, I am happy that it housed my son for nine months. and I have to smile at the attention that J LO and Beyonce’ get for having all of that junk in the trunk, my booty has been turning heads for years. It’s time for women of all sizes to find their own beauty. stop allowing Men, tabloids, and people who neither know or care about you to define your beauty. stop worring about such pettiness as real or not real. focus on your game. proper fitting clothes. size 2 or 22, hair,nails,feet, smelling good, nice smile. my man loves me at a size 22. the sex is great and his pride in me when I walk into a room and heads turn is obvious. but more than that it’s the pride I feel in myself. knowing that I am who I am and when I work my thig, i’m damm hard to beat. so to all you ladies see the beauty in yourselves and in others.

• 

  LosingTheFat // April 15, 2008 at 5:13 am

  “I wouldn’t trade my round bottom for a flat one for all of the money in the world. my beautiful full legs for toothpicks. and there just isn’t any way that I would trade the way my breast brings out the beauty of a blouse for the unmistakable look of a boy.”

  Are you trying to say that a women who has a flat bottem, or skinny legs, or has small breasts is less of a ‘real’ woman?

  You talk about being a real woman and then you advocate fake tans…how is that real? If you’re going to say that ALL women are beautiful, you have to include the skinny, no bottem, flat chested, pale women, too.

• 

  unfatblog // April 15, 2008 at 6:11 am

  My point exactly Losing. There are a lot of people that feel way Pat does in the FA movement.

  When the advocates of Fat Acceptance get their media coverage they put on a good show about only wanting to be treated fairly. People who read their blogs in depth know otherwise. The “just stop picking on us” act doesn’t fool me, because I actually read them.

  These blogs are most certainly are being used a way to GLORIFY obesity. FA types that deny this make me question their credibility.

  Once again basically total silence on what a “REAL MAN” looks like. I no comments on how attractive a fat man can be.

  REMEMBER: that not single fat blog would allow these argumentative comments. They would most likely be deleted. Perhaps I should call people who leave argumentative comments “fucktards” or “douchhounds” or “trolls” as some other Fat Acceptance Bloggers like to do.

• 

  Mary // April 15, 2008 at 6:32 am

  As for the definition of a “real” woman I agree with Lindsay, and I also share Patty’s view that you become more comfortable in your skin when you are older. For my part I wouldn’t trade my small breasts for bigger ones, because for me finding a sports-bra is remarkably easy. My body has been shaped by a childhood and youth in competitive sports, and almost two decades of recreational running. I know from my very personal experience that being in excellent physical shape is very important for your wellbeing when you are fast approaching your 50s.

  To me any woman with a healthy and strong body looks just fine. On the other hand it’s very worrying that an increasing number of young women today show the unmistakeable signs of an unhealthy life style - too much of the wrong kinds of food and too little exercise. Chloe is a very pretty girl, but I’m afraid that I have to doubt her statements that she jogs, swims and works out regularily. Her body shows no muscle and she seems to suffer from bloating, which is not good at all at her age.

  I’m not saying that you can’t be a model of fitness and good health when you have a large and curvy frame though. The paparazzi snaps of tennis-ace Serena Williams in a skimpy bikini have circulated in the media recently. In all her ample glory Ms Williams is nothing short of sizzling hot!

• 

  Patty // April 15, 2008 at 7:04 pm

  Good Afternoon,
  I’m back again because this is a subject that I feel so passionate about. I too at one time was guilty of seeing myself and other full figured women as real women, and thin women as fake, mean, hungry bitches. and here’s the lesson. it was in the early days of us big girls beginning to say wait a minute, who are they to tell us we are not pretty or that men souldn’t find our form of beauty desirable? or that we don’t have the right to exsist and be happy just as we are today? yes we became angry. how would you feel sitting behind a car with a bumper sticker that reads… save the whales, harpoon a fat chick!!! we became hostile because our inviroment was hostile. and I’ll grant you that there’s still alot of anger out there today. however, we are living in different times now. plus size women no longer live in a world where there are no positive images of women like us at the top. we no longer have to go without beautiful clothes to wear, there are entire web sites and social groups where men want to meet us. we have better relationships with our doctors and have learned that plus size doesn’t automatically mean unhealthy. and when it comes to exercise we have learned to put the emphisis on being fit (not slim). all bodies are not meant to be thin. Lindsay is 100% correct, the only thing that a real woman has that a fake one does not is female genitalia. any human born with female genitalia is a real woman. the same goes for men. any man born with male genitalia is a real man. pure and simple. and to the blogger: loosing the fat, no I’m not saying that skinny legged,flat chested, flat butt,pale women are not real women. what I am saying is don’t hate me because I have a different vision for myself. your style of beauty works for you and my style of beauty works for me. I don’t feel less of a woman or less deserving of all of Gods bounty because I choose to carry my beauty in a bigger cup. for the thin world what I am saying is you have the wrong girl if you think that I spend my time looking through pages and pages of magazines that I don’t see myself in, wishing that I looked like the women between those pages. instead I purchase Figure Magazine and visit Venus Diva magazine on line. if you think I walk through the mall dejected because of all of the stores who won’t increase their sizes to include me, (WRONG) again, I simply visit the stores in the mall where I know I will get my shop on. Ashley Stewart, Avenue, Torrid and all of my favorit on line stores. and when I want that special little naughty treat for my sweetie, please forgive me but #@!* Victoria’s Secret, if Vicky doesn’t think my man’s money is worth making something he would like to see his girl in, then Frederick of Hollywood,Big gals lingerie .com, lingerie at large .com will continue to fit the bill. and when I want to erercise in the privacy of my own home, I slip in a yoga DVD by Megan Garcia or Plus Size Pilates by Lynne Robinson. and to unfatblog, I am not a member of any movement. however ,you said that it’s not being treated fairly that us bloggers are after, it’s to glorify obesity. how ridiculous. what human being does not want to be treated fairly? and to answer your question, what does a real man look like? he looks like a man who’s word is bond, who takes care of his responsibilities, gives an honest days work for an honest days pay and treats all people with respect. and as for the gentleman in the picture with the speedo on, to someone out there, he’s just what the Dr. ordered. and I applaud his boldness for having the courage to wear a speedo. it’s time we begin to live and let live. different strokes for different folks. there’s alot of women who won’t find the man in the speedo attractive, and guess what? I know some men who wouldn’t look twice at Miss Florida in the orange bikini. let’s agree that one man’s poision is another man’s passion. and Mary, I agree 100% that as we reach our 50’s the better physical shape we are in the better. and that an increasing number of young women have adopted a unhealthy life style. I’ll go one step forward. I work in one of the busiest Adolescent clinic’s in my city. and we see a huge ammount of girls and (some boys) who are suffering from severe eating disorders. they are starving themselves to death. and alot of it has to do with an unrealistic image they are trying to achieve. the emotional rollercoaster I see the family go through is nothing I would wish on my worst enemy. if nothing else, let’s admit that looks are subjective

• 

  Mary // April 15, 2008 at 7:56 pm

  I have to admit that I’m not very well versed in the fat acceptance ideology so far - or at least I tend to fall off the wagon when it becomes linked with feminism. What I simply can’t fathom is the slogan “fat is a feminist issue”. I keep hoping it’s a typo and is supposed to read “fit is a feminist issue”.

  I can’t bring myself to see the point of a supposedly feminist movement that spends so much time and energy on fretting over beauty ideals. Ok, fair enough, I get the point about the difficulties with finding suitable clothing. But trust me, being a grown-up woman of a US 4/6 and not into teen-fashion I share the same problem. Everything is too big for me most of the time, but somehow I don’t think it’s due to a big-pharma conspiracy and the archaic patriarchal sentiments that rule the western society. But fashion-issues aside, who cares?

  Isn’t it high time that women learned something form the blokes and began to see the whole Hollywood - top-model - celebrity - beauty-ideal -thing for what it is, ie light entertainment and not something that should rule our daily lives?

• 

  Shelle // April 16, 2008 at 6:15 am

  Nice blog; it made some very good points.
  It seems that many insecure, larger-sized women like to lift themselves up by bringing others down, specifically thin women. These seem to resent the existence of thin women and say they look like boys, not “real women”, because they don’t have a lot of fat. They do all of this under the guise that not everyone is meant to be the same shape and size, yet their criticism of being thin would lead you to believe that there is something wrong with a thin body type. They never want to acknowledge heath issues associated with being overweight, yet they’ll focus intently on eating disorders that can result in being extremely thin, insinuating that this is how everyone who is not overweight maintains their size. This takes the focus off from the much larger problem that is rising in the western world: obesity.

  People are supposed to be sensitive towards fat women and call them “plus-sized”, “thick”, or even the mis-used “curvy” & “voluptuous” tags, but it’s all okay to describe a thin woman with extremely insulting words like “boyish”, “bony”, “skinny”, “waifish”, “toothpick”, “beanpole”, etc. This backlash against being thin is accepted since being thin is supposedly the ideal. I mean, it’s not like thin women have feelings or insecurities of their own….of course not, they are not “real women”.

  I agree that women can come in many different shapes and sizes and be healthy and fit and attractive even, but this message seems to get lost amidst snide remarks geared towards tearing down what is the current ideal. The acceptance and promotion of overweight bodies is pushed over the notion of being in shape also, which is just as bad as promoting an emaciated body ideal.
  The message that it is okay to be fat is just as disturbing to me as the pro-anorexics.
  Oh, and let’s face it, there will always be some narrow standard for the “ideal” body type for women. It has changed through the ages, and right now women on the slim side are having their time.

  I might also note that outside of fashion & Hollywood, being very thin as an adult woman really is not the ideal, or catered to. Rather, a slender and shapely woman with a full bust is the ideal (think Victoria’s Secret models) & clothing sizes & cuts reflect that. As a tall & thin woman, I get a lot of rude comments from people & unsolicited mixed reviews of my narrow frame. I also have a hard time finding clothing outside of the juniors departments that is not too large for me. I’ve noticed that clothing has continually gotten larger the past few years, with the size numbering staying the same, indicating that larger women actually are the ones being catered to.

• 

  skinnyminny // April 17, 2008 at 8:11 pm

  Thank you so very much for this post! And this blog! I can’t stand it how some fat activists are saying “Oh well yeah, sure, real woman can be any size.” Then WHY are you even saying or supporting the phrase, “Real women have curve!” in the first place?

• 

  Patty // April 17, 2008 at 8:25 pm

  Good Afternoon,
  And the debate rages on. I’m not so sure that full figured women lift themselves up by bringing other women down. specifically thin women. to believe so would suggest that full figured women only associate with other full figured women. that we don’t have friends and loved ones who happen to be thin. when I think of my own circle of friends, we make up many sizes,shades,ages. one of my closest sister friends can still fit in the cheerleading uniform that we wore in high school, 33 years ago. I can not. do I resnt her? in no way. and when I think of my other thin friends, I can’t help but think of the void that would exsist in my life if they weren’t in it. what you have to understand is that from the time Twiggy emerged on the scene, it became open season on full figured women. nasty stereotypes about us were the norm. we are lazy, all we do is sit around and eat, we have odors that thin women don’t, and SEX, how could we possibly be having sex? well I’m here to set the record straight. full figured women have the same demands of family and work that all women do. and when I’m in the lunch room having a donought, there are women of all sizes right there doing the same. and it always amazes me that people believe that a person’s size gives them an odor. I can remember a smell from my childhood of a really full figured teacher I had. to this day I have never smelled someone who ALWAYS smelled so fresh. her perfume of choice was Wind Song, and to this day I am never without a spray can of it. Hygine is something that doesn’t care if you are thick or thin. if you dont wash your @##, you will stink. period. and as for Sex, well lets just say, my man is a very happy guy. and also to set the record straight, most full figured women are far too knowledgable about what makes you thin and us not, to think that every thin person is suffering from an eating disorder. we know that lifestyle choices have alot to do with everythig. we also know that genes have alot to do with everything. we all have thin friends that eat circles around the rest of us and never gain a pound. just as not every thin person is the result of proper eating and exercise, not every large person is that way from stuffing their face and lying on the couch. thin people always say, that we stay large with no regard to our own health. I know that for myself I have regular yearly physicals,paps and mammogram’s. every year during my physicals, my blood is drawn and I’m tested for Diabetes and high blood pressure. All full figured women are unhealthy. just as all thin people are not healthy. and I wish that I could say i’m sorry about the fact that full figured women have started to resort to some name calling of their own. and this may not be easy to hear, but alot of our torment has come from other women. (thin women). it wasn’t enough to have the world on a string but alot of times thin women have done what people who think others are beneath them do. and that is to make fun, name call and ostracize. this whole mean girl thing is nothing new. So now the big girls are fighting back and calling a few names of their own. boyish, bony, skinny, waifish, toothpick, beanpole. there’s only so much hurt feelings that one can take befor fighting back. and I’m not so sure that there’s an acceptance and promotion of overweight bodies being pushed over the notion of being in shape, it’s just that people (men alike) are tired of what is beautiful to them. for years men were told that the only beautiful women were the one’s that they seen in magazines. from the men I have talked to about the topic, alot of them have told me that they just can’t ignore a beautiful woman. big or small. alot of them said that it’s us women who seem to be more hung up on perfection than them. women need to get it through their heads that men love to look at women. and just like ice cream a man get’s tired of eating vanilla all of the time. once in awhile he wants a little chocolate. stop pretending that you are concerned about my health issues, I have a feeling it has more to do with sharing the limelight with the girls who you used to pick last
  :0)

• 

  Trinity // April 18, 2008 at 1:07 am

  FA glorifies obesity by attempting to normalize it. Rolls of blubber are ‘curves’ now, which apparently a real woman requires. They keep on repeating the mantra of obesity = real woman so much it sounds like they’re really just trying to convince themselves. As much a lot of FA bloggers love to say they love themselves as is there is a lot of bitterness towards slimmer women.

  The FA is disturbing because they’re just like pro-ANA websites except instead of dealing with too thin they’re promoting too heavy. It’s trading one eating disorder for another.

• 

  unfatblog // April 18, 2008 at 7:07 am

  Skinny Minny Please contact me at admin@myfatspouse.com, I run unfatblog.com and myfatspouse.com I would love to help your blog or assist you in posting things you want to write!

• 

  Shelle // April 18, 2008 at 6:28 pm

  Patty, two wrongs don’t make a right. It is childish to call thin women mean names out of hurt and anger. Did all of those woman personally attack you? No.
  You may think you have a balanced view, but your blatant prejudice & bitterness towards slender women rears its ugly head in many of your remarks.

  I said that INSECURE larger women like to pull thin woman down to bring themselves up. I certainly would not generalize all larger women. Just like you, I have friends and family of many sizes and I don’t stereotype based on size/weight.

  Take the blinders off and realize there is no fat vs. thin woman battle, rather all women deal with insecurities and hurts from remarks made towards their body. Promoting an unhealthy body image, whether extremely thin or overweight is NOT the solution. You can also promote beauty & health in many different shapes & sizes without tearing others down.

• 

  Patty // April 18, 2008 at 8:25 pm

  Here’s the deal, for the past few days I have been blogging at this site, hoping to encounter some people who truly understand the differences and beauty in all people. a few people have expressed a deep concern for the way they feel they are being looked at as less than women because they don’t posess curves, rolls, what ever you want to call them to those people I will say this, again for the last time, you don’t need any one’s validation to know if you are a real woman. don’t allow your self esteem to be compromised to that degree. and to the real meanies like trinity and skinnyminny, you sound sound like sour grapes. we get the message. you dont like fat people. who gives a @#*!. you had no problem when fat girls stood in the back and felt bad about themselves. and when men were to afraid to admit that they found a fuller body soft and warm instead of like laying next to another guy. (I’m sorry to all of you women out there who are sensative to the feelings of others) but to the skinnyminny’s and trinity’s you would love it if we full figured women walked around in your shadow and wished we were you. well. NO SOUP FOR YOU.
  NEXT!!!!!

• 

  Patty // April 18, 2008 at 9:00 pm

  Shelle,
  Please take the time to truly read each and every one of my blogs. I think that you misunderstand my hard earned dignity for put down’s on thin women even though in every blog all I hear is derogatory words used to describe full figured women. if we want to call our rolls curves what do you care. it was ok when the only word that was used was fat. you were ok with that. when words like blubber are used you didn’t speak to the mean spirited person who said it however you directed a scold directly at me for defending large women everywhere. we large women are pros at taking insults. don’t get mad if now we are learning how to give a few of them back. at no point did I display a dislike of thin women. it’s just not true. what I do have a dislike for is mean, narrow minded people that inflict hurt on people and don’t know how to take it when it’s given back to them. you asked me to take the blinders off, I ask you to re read my blogs if you don’t get my message of self love that i’m sending out to all women, then there’s not much I can say. again I say yes I am a full figured woman, I dont aspire to be anyone that I am not. thick or thin. I don’t suffer from low self esteem as skinnyminny and trinity would have me do. it’s clear that they only see the superficial in people. and again I say with age comes wisdom. just because we are not going to let you get away with being mean to us without a fight, doesn’t mean that we have a hatred of thin women. is it just that you are so used to us taking your abuse that you are taken aback when we let you know. beauty is still subjective. you will always have your admirers and we will always have ours. personal choice is a beautiful thing

• 

  parallelsidewalk // April 19, 2008 at 3:30 pm

  “REMEMBER: that not single fat blog would allow these argumentative comments. They would most likely be deleted. Perhaps I should call people who leave argumentative comments “fucktards” or “douchhounds” or “trolls” as some other Fat Acceptance Bloggers like to do.”

  Props on that. There is absolutely no room for dissenting comments on Kate Harding’s site, for example. Not just on fat acceptance; one clearly pro-FA woman expressed some rather mild pro-life sentiments in a polite manner and was told to take her views elsewhere. She’s really free with the name calling with people she doesn’t like, too, but feels it’s out of line for people to mock her attractiveness (the latter of which I agree with, actually, but it is hypocritical). Her husband, incidentally, is a saint to put up with her if she, by her own admission is going to start haranguing the TV while he’s watching about views on fatness she’s not down with.

  The very real and obvious dislike a lot of FA people express towards thin people is pretty appalling too.

• 

  skinnyminny // April 19, 2008 at 4:40 pm

  Parallelsidewalk, oh do I ever know exactly what you’re talking about! I have been called a troll by her, had my comments deleted and banned numerous times, when my comments were being polite as well. They just offered a slightly different viewpoint. But that is apparently not allowed whatsoever.

  A couple weeks ago I commented again, just to ask her what she thought about a family recently in the news for having an obese child caused by overfeeding him. I just simple said, “Hey what do you think about this (link to website). After not have commented or visited her site for at least a month, FillyJonk snapped at me with a cocky comment like, “It’s no nice hear from such a regular reader,” with a link to the post on the topic I suggested. I mean, sorry that I don’t have time to read the 100 mile long posts they make once (sometimes more) a day. Then they snapped at me again saying, “Oh don’t think we don’t remember your past trolling” and then I was banned again and ridiculed for trying to comment again in the first place after I was banned months ago. It’s ridiculous. No one is allowed to have an opinion on her site unless it’s ass kissing, makes her look perfect, or put her on a pedestal.

• 

  yoganut // April 20, 2008 at 9:22 pm

  on the topic of “fat people smelling bad.” Some do, some don’t. And some thin people do. what leads to smelling bad often has to do with what you’re eating. If you’re eating a lot of meat and dairy and not enough fruits and vegetables you will smell rank.

  And while not all fat people eat bad as a rule, in America 99% of the population eats bad. People eat so much packaged food they have no concept of actual healthy eating. Americans eat junk food. But most don’t think it’s junk food unless it’s chips or a twinkie. Fact is, most of their boxed and canned dinners qualify as “junk” because it’s processed crap.

  While hygeine obviously plays a huge role in how you smell, The reason sweat stinks so bad is because the body is getting rid of a lot of toxins. If you eat a lot, and eat a lot of bad stuff, you might stink. You can bathe, and wear perfume and lotions and deodorant, but it doesn’t change the basic fact that you’re eating things that require you to apply these heavy fragrances.

  But this isn’t an attack on “fat people” lest anyone should accuse me of it. It goes for skinny people too. It’s basic diet more often than not that leads to a person smelling bad “naturally.” How they choose to deal with that problem is another issue. Bathing obviously is a good idea and everybody should be doing it. But some people take frequent baths and still stink.

  Often their diet is responsible, but instead of addressing that, they lather on fruity scented lotions and lots of deodorant.

• 

  Trinity // April 24, 2008 at 3:08 pm

  Patty,

  I don’t hate fat women. I do hate shrill pro-obesity bloggers and their supporters who claim that anyone with an opposing viewpoint is a hater. They try to couch the whole issue as one of attractiveness which it is not. Even preferring a slim mate is seen as a sign of fat hatred. If someone wants to be fat they can go right ahead but when FA supporters act like anyone who is concerned about weight gain or a healthy lifestyle is teetering over the brink of anorexia it gets ridiculous.

• 

  Lissa // April 24, 2008 at 7:43 pm

  Patty,

  “A real woman is one who is confident enough to accept her own form of beauty. all too long, we full figured women have allowed others to define what beauty is and isn’t…you see a womans size does not make her a real or fake person, it’s the way she carries herself.”

  I couldn’t agree with you more!!

• 

  Breaking Beauty Stereotypes « Skinny Mommy - Losing Weight on Weight Watchers // April 24, 2008 at 7:46 pm

  [...] was a comment made by a poster on another blog, that I couldn’t agree more with! “A real woman is one who is confident enough to accept [...]

• 

  parallelsidewalk // April 26, 2008 at 7:11 am

  Trinity, I couldn’t agree more. I have no beef with fat people and in fact am not skinny myself; I am in the middle of trying to lose a significant amount of weight. What I’m not doing is clamping my hands over my ears and going “la la la can’t hear you doctors, being obese is fine!”.

• 

  Elizabeth // May 4, 2008 at 7:25 pm

  I think Chloe looks like her head is too small for her body. It looks disproportionate and quite strange, if you ask me. Surely that is not how nature intended her to look.

• 

  Patty // May 5, 2008 at 3:39 pm

  Elizabeth,
  Do you even know what a mean hearted and cruel #@**! you sound like in your description of Chloe? it reminds me of being back in the nineth grade and the things we did to fit in with the cool croud. at the expense of someone else. and then one day it wasn’t fun anymore. making fun of someone’s hair or teeth or the way they walked. in other words, we grew up. or maybe we had a rude awakening. or maybe someone brought it to our attention that we weren’t all that. as I read the mean way you gave your opinion of her head size and how you found it to be disproportionate and strange, I kept thinking to myself, I sure wish I could see what you look like. you must be perfect in every way. or so you think. and last but not least, you said surely that is not how Mother Nature intended for her to look. of all of the offensive, and arrogant things to say. Mother Nature or let’s tell the truth, God makes all of us just the way he want’s us. and the God I serve is Omnipotent, and is not in the business of making junk. here you are judging her outwardly beauty, I say that you would be better served to put your own inward beauty in check. instead of looking at others with such a critical eye, look at yourself in the mirror and I have a feeling you will see some things that are less than perfect. starting with that mean heart.

• 

  unfatblog // May 5, 2008 at 4:08 pm

  Patty,

  do you realize that the sum total of your replies to this single post are greater than the total writing that I have done for this blog?

  Additionally do you not find it ironic that Fat Acceptance blogs don’t allow you to argue with the author or other comments to this degree? You would be labeled a “Troll” or a “Douchhound” and all your comments deleted on a Fat Acceptance Blog, if you did this.

  Before you tell another person that you would like to see a picture of them, perhaps you should post a link of a picture of yourself

  The next time you want to reply to this blog, I suggest you should walk around the block. At this rate you should be quite healthy in a few weeks.

• 

  Patty // May 5, 2008 at 5:39 pm

  You should have made it clear that this blog is for those and only those who share your views on meanness. I notice that you only have negative feedback for someone that takes to task people for not being kind to their fellow man. and as for posting a picture of myself, I’m not the one who saw fit to put another human being down. however I will take your mean un invite under advisment and stay away from your blog.
  God Bless

• 

  unfatblog // May 6, 2008 at 4:01 am

  I don’t mind opposing views. UNLIKE the Fat Acceptance blogs. I was just suggesting that one you provide a picture of yourself before you ask for one from other people. Secondly I was just pointing out that you have written an absurd amount of comments for one blog entry.

  Maybe you should start a fat acceptance blog, their are only 13,352 of them at the moment.

• 

  LosingTheFat // May 7, 2008 at 4:36 pm

  Gee Patty…way to shove your beliefs down someone elses throat. Seems to me you have issues with other people’s religious points of view. I don’t think it was cool to correct Elizabeth for her comment about Mother Nature.

  I second Chris’ idea though. Why don’t you start an FA blog?

• 

  yoganut // May 8, 2008 at 2:15 am

  Wow Patty, you have a lot of built up rage. I didn’t really see a lot of “hate” in Elizabeth’s statement. She was simply stating an aesthetic opinion. Meanwhile lots of vitriol comes off in your tone in response (whether you mean for it to or not.)

  Frankly I’m about tired of all this PC bullshit that dictates no one can say ANYTHING even remotely negative about any part of any other human being without being “evil and judgmental.”

  Does it not occur to you that you are equally “mean and judgmental” when you get in someone else’s face about a simply stated aesthetic opinion? Jeez, calm down.

• 

  yoganut // May 8, 2008 at 2:20 am

  OMG Patty you DID put another human being down. You put Elizabeth down. Suggesting she was cruel and had a “mean heart.” How someone’s random comment on an aesthetic preference (that wasn’t even that “meanly” stated in the first place) warrants that kind of response I’ll never know.

  As for this blog being only for those who agree, HA HA HA. If this were a fat acceptance blog and you were a detractor, you would have been banned after the first post and called a Troll (if they were having a nice day.) Since you haven’t been blocked, banned, or deleted, you should accept the fact that your view is welcome, but everyone is allowed to think it’s stupid and respond to it.

  This is the classic PC censor BS. You’re allowed to just jump all over anyone with any view that isn’t “PC” but no one is allowed to call you on your BS. Cause you’re preaching “love and acceptance.”

  Please.

• 

  Sexy at any Size // May 18, 2008 at 5:51 am

  I think you make some very good points there, that some fat acceptance blog make a virtue out of being overweight. So in answer you your title question, what is a real woman, the answer is one that is healthy, one who eats right is active, confident of herself and comfortable in her own skin. That woman can be any size or shape which is ideal for her body type. That is what a real woman is.

• 

  Sexy at any Size // May 18, 2008 at 5:52 am

  I think you make some very good points there, that some fat acceptance blogs make a virtue out of being overweight. So in answer you your title question, what is a real woman, the answer is one that is healthy, one who eats right, is active, confident of herself and comfortable in her own skin. That woman can be any size or shape which is ideal for her body type. That is what a real woman is, a woman that does not feel the need to conform to the media ideal of a woman who is seems has to be a certain size to be beautiful or sexy.

• 

  Two Faces of Fat Acceptance « The Unfatblog // May 26, 2008 at 8:10 pm

  [...] an emphasis of the sexiness of fat women. A Real Woman means a fat woman. In the comments of my “What is a Real Woman” post, on this blog, the FA cult clamored to clarify that a Real Woman didn’t necessarily have [...]

• 

  Silverback // June 9, 2008 at 12:39 pm

  I agree with the authot 100%. The long list of “hair extensions, lip injections and breast implants” stated by a previous poster DO NOT apply here because I don’t see anyone injecting copious amounts of fat to appear like this fictional “real-woman.” There is a “debate” in the first place because like any animal kingdom, the female has the biological need (no matter how ludicrous) to put down the competition…i.e. the thinner women in this case. Whomever started this “real woman” phrase ought to be ashamed of themselves. However, I suppose it is “real” as it can get, when a 300lb individual develops Diabetes, PVD ulcers and has to have both legs amputated. I am a firm believer in physics and you CANNOT create matter no matter how much the FA tries to argue this. Advocating an unhealthy lifestyle for selfish motives (on EITHER side of the fence) is not only wrong but borders on irresponsible.

• 

  Esprit // June 11, 2008 at 6:52 pm

  What makes me laugh about the ‘plus size’ ladies insults to the thin/slim ones are the constant references to ‘bony/boyish/no curves’ etc…. Well how do you account for those of us who are very slim AND curvy (120lbs, 5″6,) who have natural hourglass figures, with real boobs (32-D) and really small waists (24″ with wider hips (35″). Surely that’s the true definition of curvy?The answer is you pretend we don’t exist or else whisper our tits must be fake to make yourselves feel better. I’ve kept this shape even after two kids AND NO SURGERY which leaves me little sympathy for those of you that harp on about not being able to help getting fat after kids, that’s bollocks. We need to acknowledge the distinction between sexy curves and rolls of fat acquired through gluttony. I don’t understand how you need to be obese to appreciate ‘the way your breasts bring out the beauty of a blouse’ How could you possibly distinguish the breasts from the rolls of fat beneath them without a slim waist below? Plently of very fat men have an almost identical silhouette to that i.e surprisingly ample man-breasts over big bellies. If anything I think women with that shape resemble men more closely than thin/slim women, it’s a very unatural, asexual silhouette in a woman who is not pregnant and I think deep down most big women are aware of this which is why they are immediately defensive and lash out when faced with slim/thin yet curvy women. Unfortunately that’s human nature…

  Phew..that’s better

• 

  Sama // June 12, 2008 at 3:59 am

  I find it interesting that a lot of women on FA blogs are not morbidly obese, just a bit plump as they used to say. My friends who are naturally very thin have been the ones to help me to accept my larger size. It is unlikely that fat comes from diet alone. The thin members of my family have Type II Diabetes and metabolic syndrome as well as the heavier members. They did not develop it sooner because they were fatter, nor did low fat diets help them.
  Some fat people are on necessary medications that cause a lot of weight gain — antiepileptics, etc. Prednisone, a lifesaving drug for many, converts muscle
  tissue to fat! An overweight person may eat junk food as may a thin woman who subsists on diet soda and low-fat cookies. A fat woman and a thin woman may both eat healthy, nutritious foods. The fat woman does not necessarily eat larger quantities than the thin woman — science is finding that heredity, metabolism, protein-fat-carbohydrate balance, etc. play a larger role than quantity. Even medically supervised liquid crash diets may cause the loss of heart muscle. “Yo-yo” dieting may screw up the metabolism.
  Nothing is gained by calling a fat person a glutton.
  I feel the HAES movement is one of the best things to come out of the FA movement. I also wish it was called the size acceptance movement since I have learned the rude comments my thin friends have endured.

• 

  parallelsidewalk // June 12, 2008 at 7:51 am

  Sama
  (Anecdotal) exceptions that prove the rule aren’t helpful. We’ve all met that guy who smokes but has lived to be over a hundred, or whose lifestyle is perfectly healthy and dies of a heart attack, or whoever. You could use Keith Richards to prove heroin is harmless. In general, if you exercise and eat healthily, you will be thinner and healthier. I am against ridiculing and insulting overweight people (as I’ve said before here, I’m not thin right now myself) but if endless excuses were worth a penny, the FA movement would be a silver dollar. While it’s debatable that yo-yo dieting is worse for you than just not paying attention to your weight at all, how about we just accept that discipline can be a good thing sometimes and we can commit to trying to make ourselves healthier without phantom fears of ‘yo yo-ing”. Your strawmen have been addressed here before; if fat is just genetic, why are people fatter now than they were, and why aren’t fat people distributed more evenly, with no correlation to diet? Sure genetics affects your predisposition to gain weight, along with a predisposition to alcoholism; should people with that problem just drink s much as they want? Yeah, not every thin person is healthy, but MOST fat people are unhealthy. And for most of them ( or maybe I should say ‘us’ it’s a surplus of unhealthy food and a lack of exercise, not any number of cruel tricks of fate one could theorize about.

• 

  parallelsidewalk // June 20, 2008 at 8:03 am

  If men tried to do the “real man” thing the way FA does the “real woman” bit
  http://youtube.com/watch?v=slmM8CR9KGo

• 

  parallelsidewalk // June 20, 2008 at 8:05 am

  Sorry, should have added NOT SAFE FOR WORK

• 

  Liza // July 9, 2008 at 2:11 pm

  I have lost 25 pounds since April because I went vegan and stopped eating sugar and corn sweeteners, and I started exercising more. Going vegan was a personal decision, but I had to completely change my diet in order to be healthy. I was not trying to lose weight, I just started eating better. Now I feel healthier than ever. My stomach used to hurt all the time and I was usually tired. I wasn’t particularly fat to begin with, nor am I skinny now. I’m 115 pounds, which is pretty average for how short I am. I also have 34C breasts and wide hips. In other words, the thinner I get, the curvier I become, because my body isn’t obscured by fat.

• 

  Cherielabombe // July 13, 2008 at 12:00 pm

  Hiya. Interesting blog. I can’t say I agree with a lot of your posts on the whole, but I appreciate your respectful way of arguing, and I am always happy to consider other points of view.

  As for me, I found the FA blogs about 6 months ago and I have to say, as a fat woman, they have been very beneficial to helping me build confidence in myself and in my body. And it’s great! I feel like I’m learning to listen to my body and take care of it better than I ever have, and believe it or not, this has actually resulted in eating more healthily and getting more exercise, but I digress!

  A few points: I don’t personally recall anyone in the “fat o sphere” ragging on skinny women but I am aware that that resentment exists. How can it not? When you are outside the beauty ideal and you feel that you as you are is “unacceptable,” I think it’s rather natural to envy those who are the cultural ideal. That doesn’t mean it’s acceptable.
  Personally, I don’t think it’s right to criticize or demean thin women and I think any fat person who does should examine their own reasons for doing so.

  Also, as Patty pointed out, a lot of fat people are angry about the treatment they have received over the years and perhaps are lashing out at what or who they see as “the problem.” Again as I said, that doesn’t make such behavior right. I’m just throwing some ideas out there.

  To me, size acceptance (which I think is more accurate and inclusive than fat acceptance) is about accepting your body as it is naturally, and accepting other people’s bodies as they are naturally. The artist William Hogarth once said that “beauty is infinite variety” and I strongly believe that. When I was younger (and more insecure about myself, and actually, a lot more preoccupied with my weight) I did put down “the skinny bitches.” I don’t feel the need to do that anymore.

  As for finding fat men attractive… well, I like SEXY men. As I mentioned before “beauty is infinite variety.” My boyfriend IS rather tall and lean, but I have been attracted to and have dated men of all shapes and sizes. I prefer my men sexy, which to me means interesting looking, intelligent and funny. In fact, one of my biggest turnoffs in attractiveness is a man who has a cookie cutter attractive “sameness” about him. It just seems a little boring to me. Bur that’s just me - what I like and don’t like.

  And moving on to whether or not other people think I’m attractive… actually I personally don’t care if you find me attractive or not! My attitude is people have all sorts of tastes. Some people will find me and my body very unappealing sexually, others will find it hot, and that’s OK. Whatever floats your boat. You don’t have to live in this body, I do, so the important thing is that *I* feel happy, healthy and beautiful in my body not your judgment of it.

  So, what is a real woman then? To me, a real woman is any woman with a body, whatever her size may be.

Leave a Comment